Kaia Peacock

Note

January 10 Update

On January 9th, I had an appointment with the German Embassy in San Fransisco. We decided to attempt to use the new law for self determination and see how the government responds. I sent out my letter registering my intent to declare a name change (an absurdly German concept) and now I’m waiting to see if they protest me keeping the X gender marker while changing my name.

Hi, my name is Kaia Peacock, and I’m a woman. At least, according the state of California. The important transition milestones never really stop coming, it seems. At time of writing, my pronouns are they/she.

On Christmas Eve in 2024, the San Francisco Supreme Court ordered to update my name and gender on my birth certificate, making me legally a woman. That’s been my lived reality for a while, and the name I’ve been using for a while (also Kai for a year prior), but the court order kicks off a long list of cascading changes that I now have to follow up on.

Within days I went to the DMV to update my driver’s license, the Social Security Administration to update my social security card, and I mailed a certified copy of my court order to the passport office to get my US passport updated. I’ve started the process of getting my name changed for insurance and my credit card, but I’ll need my spouse present to update our joint bank accounts.

I decided that I’m keeping the X gender marker. I really appreciate it as a nonbinary person, and it was one of the first documents I updated. This is a bit of an uncommon choice right now. Many trans people are switching to binary gender markers in anticipation of the Nazis taking power in 2025 and defining trans people out of existence. This is one of the many supposed “day 1” promises of the regime, but one I don’t think it will take long to follow through on.

Despite this, I’m keeping my X on my passport. I have the privilege of having a fallback passport in Germany, and I also have the legal identity officially of female in California to fall back on. If they decide to strip me of my nonbinary marker, I will have the ludicrous distinction of being forcibly feminized by the American Nazi party.

I jest, but I realize I’m in real danger. Anyone who still has an X and has it stripped away will be going on a list. I’m aware of that and am making my choice. I will live my life exactly as I want to until it becomes impossible. Making changes in anticipation of what the Nazis want me to do is how they get their power. It may be a stupid and symbolic way, but this is part of how I’m following the mantra of “do not obey in advance”. I will create problems for their attempt to erase me and my trans siblings.

There is still the weird issue of my German legal identity. I spoke with an attorney out of Berlin about my options and they’re not ideal.

I’m still very proud of having an X gender marker on my passport. It only became possible this year, and I have reason to believe that I was the first adult nonbinary German to receive one, possibly in the world. Especially considering the circumstances under which my X may be stripped from me this year, I’m not eager to surrender my German gender marker.

The Gender Identity Act unfortuntely has problems. One annoyance is that you are required to “declare” your intent to change your name and gender three months before actually applying to have it changed. That process is ill-defined and there aren’t well-documented steps to take.

The other problem is contained with in the above statement. You must change your name and gender. Since I have the legally recognized gender identity I want in Germany, but not the correct name, I’m stuck. The law will not allow me to correct my name to correspond with my legal name in the United States, unless I am also updating my gender at the same time.

This is based off of some incomprehensible reasoning that gender identity must always correspond to a new name. Apparently the intersex community is also unhappy with the situation, as many people understandably have wanted the X gender marker without having to change their names in order to have recognition.

There is the possibility for me to fight it in the courts, but since my court order specifies my gender as “female”, it’s unlikely the court would understand my reasoning for wanting the X marker to the point of wanting to go to court for it.

So here I am. I’m stuck with my deadname in Germany for the time being. I’ll have to wait for the courts or legislature to figure things out, and hopefully they will eventually decouple name and gender changes so that I can proceed. This could end up taking years before my name is finally consistent again, but I suppose there’s no rush. If I really had to I could bite the bullet and just “transition” to female in Germany as well, but it’s a bitter pill to swallow in such a dark point in American history.